The other day, i walked into a pal's office to wish them a Happy New Year and of course the usual discussion on resolutions came up. He brought up the topic of relationships and didnt we have a heated debate! For the sake of privacy i will withhold his name and call him Aaron. Firstly, he asked me why i desired m
arriage when the institution of marriage was no longer feasible! Exactly how he put it. His reasons for his distrust in marriage was that fidelity was a thing of the past. He recounted the number of ladies he knew who were unfaithful to their husbands alongside the age old behaviour of guys who beleived that an affair actually helps a relationship! What?Relax, let me expound on how he put it, he said that a man who has a 'side dish' doesnt take home alot of stress and therefore is in a better frame of mind to deal with his family's needs! I retorted that i have never had such a lousy excuse!! I mean, if you'd ask any woman they would tell you that they would rather deal with their husband's foul mood than have him soothed by another woman!
His advise for me was that i should get myself with child and move on! To which i replied that i would prefer to get a child with its father in tow!
My thoughts, why is it that when we go through a lousy relationship we brand guys as incapable of being faithful? Does that mean that the same is true of chics? Why is it so easy for us to come up with a catch-all-phrase/opinion?Before you condemn all relationships are you sure that you dont know at least one relationship that seems to be working? And for our married pals, could you please even as you complain to us about your relationships when things are tough also come and tell us about them when they are working so that we can celebrate with you? Let us have a balanced opinion on the this topic of the century. These quotes speak volumes of what marriage is:
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. ~George Bernard Shaw
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner
1 comment:
The institution is under major attack at the moment since we are a society of instant gratification. Sms, E-mail etc are intantanous means of communication meant to improve our interactions, but instead of using them to bring us together we use them instead to communicate. But i digress.
What i mean is that we expect too much too soon. (in marriage and relationships) Whenever we have our expectations met we promptly expect more from out partners - we raise the bar. So we spend our time together chasing goal posts that are ever shifting and never get to feel affirmation and the satifsfaction of acheiving a goal. This leaves us tired and spent.
The other part is that we expect our partner to 'complete' us in some way which is not right as you can be complete and happy on your own and two 'complete' individuals would make a better 'whole'. This would make a relationship a coming together of two complete people which woud meld into a completely fulfilling relatioship for both partners. Just my 2 cents on the matter.
Oops! gotta get of your blog and post on my own, Sorry about the long comment.
P.S. Read all your posts and you must be the sanest (is there such a word?) person i have ever read! (Aside from the story of the battered woman - i cant blame her or exonerate her either. Oh! Heck!)
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