If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. OK, worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees.
You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll divorce at 40,
maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much
or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can.
Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents.
You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise.
Politicians will philander.
You, too, will get old.
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy,
but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Arrive at a clearing..
***********************************************
Perks Pearl of Wisdom
"Wanting" is the seed of dreams and believing is the nourishment that makes them possible." Bob Perks
*****************************************************
All stories copyright 2004 Bob Perks
Today's Message:
"Arrive at a Clearing"
By Bob Perks
Bob@BobPerks.com
"My life is not going as planned. I feel like I am lost in the woods and can't find my way out," the young man said.
"You are not lost. You are learning how to trust," the old man replied.
"Trust?"
"Yes, you must learn how to trust yourself and believe that every step you have taken was in the right direction."
"The right direction, old man, would have taken me out of the forest. I need to climb to the top of the mountain in life."
"Not if you were meant to learn about trees. One cannot learn about trees standing on top of a mountain."
"So, my whole life is to be lost in the woods? Trees are like obstacles that get in my way. They serve no purpose but to block my view."
"What you can't see is the obvious," the old man said. He then asked, "Do you have faith in God?"
"Yes, but I can't understand why He would leave me here. I have prayed for a way out and still I am lost."
"What you see as an obstacle, may be the answer to prayer. Instead of cursing the things before you, understand why they are there.
When you ask God for help, you cannot limit the way He helps you. You see prayer like shopping for groceries. You make a list and expect to get everything on it. God takes that list and gives you what you need most and some things you didn't ask for. You ask for success and God sends work to earn it. You ask for happiness and God sends you challenges that bring happiness. Faith is believing that when you journey into a forest you will arrive at a clearing."
The young man stood silently.
"But, my friend, your time "lost in the woods" does not mean you will always be surrounded by trees," the old man said. "The feeling of being lost in the woods means you are making your own path through life. That is a reflection of the faith God has in your ability to make it through a difficult journey. If you wanted it easy you should have stayed on the road paved by others before you.
The good news is that one day you will arrive at a clearing."
Then placing his hand on the young man's shoulder he continued.
"It is on that day when you will be thankful for the trees."
At times life can be overwhelming. Your wanting things better will not make them happen, but wanting is the seed of dreams and believing is the nourishment that makes them possible.
If your journey has been difficult and you feel "lost in the woods," stop for a moment and ask God to tell you about the trees that surround you. They were placed there not to block your view, but help you to appreciate the day you, too will "arrive at a clearing."
"I believe in you!"
Bob Perks
Bob@BobPerks.com
Perks Pearl of Wisdom
"Wanting" is the seed of dreams and believing is the nourishment that makes them possible." Bob Perks
*****************************************************
All stories copyright 2004 Bob Perks
Today's Message:
"Arrive at a Clearing"
By Bob Perks
Bob@BobPerks.com
"My life is not going as planned. I feel like I am lost in the woods and can't find my way out," the young man said.
"You are not lost. You are learning how to trust," the old man replied.
"Trust?"
"Yes, you must learn how to trust yourself and believe that every step you have taken was in the right direction."
"The right direction, old man, would have taken me out of the forest. I need to climb to the top of the mountain in life."
"Not if you were meant to learn about trees. One cannot learn about trees standing on top of a mountain."
"So, my whole life is to be lost in the woods? Trees are like obstacles that get in my way. They serve no purpose but to block my view."
"What you can't see is the obvious," the old man said. He then asked, "Do you have faith in God?"
"Yes, but I can't understand why He would leave me here. I have prayed for a way out and still I am lost."
"What you see as an obstacle, may be the answer to prayer. Instead of cursing the things before you, understand why they are there.
When you ask God for help, you cannot limit the way He helps you. You see prayer like shopping for groceries. You make a list and expect to get everything on it. God takes that list and gives you what you need most and some things you didn't ask for. You ask for success and God sends work to earn it. You ask for happiness and God sends you challenges that bring happiness. Faith is believing that when you journey into a forest you will arrive at a clearing."
The young man stood silently.
"But, my friend, your time "lost in the woods" does not mean you will always be surrounded by trees," the old man said. "The feeling of being lost in the woods means you are making your own path through life. That is a reflection of the faith God has in your ability to make it through a difficult journey. If you wanted it easy you should have stayed on the road paved by others before you.
The good news is that one day you will arrive at a clearing."
Then placing his hand on the young man's shoulder he continued.
"It is on that day when you will be thankful for the trees."
At times life can be overwhelming. Your wanting things better will not make them happen, but wanting is the seed of dreams and believing is the nourishment that makes them possible.
If your journey has been difficult and you feel "lost in the woods," stop for a moment and ask God to tell you about the trees that surround you. They were placed there not to block your view, but help you to appreciate the day you, too will "arrive at a clearing."
"I believe in you!"
Bob Perks
Bob@BobPerks.com
New Beginnings...
The death of a thing is always the beginning of another..
The weakest animal dies
The flower blooms then withers and dies...
The cycle of life must continue…
We too like flowers are here today… and gone tomorrow..
Every scenario in life presents an obstacle and an opportunity..
Which one shall i choose?
Life should be about making everything count..
Every tiny moment should be celebrated.. its unique.. it shall never come back!
In a thousand seeds only 3 may sprout into huge plants..
Life is about change…
Change is hard... painful..
Change also brings with it fulfillment and accomplishment..
From a seed comes forth an oak tree..
From a larvae comes forth a butterfly.
A friendship undefined becomes a balanced fulfilling one...
hurts in the past frame pillars of strength..
To be without becomes the womb that births ambition..
obstacles are opportunites waiting to be tapped!
The weakest animal dies
The flower blooms then withers and dies...
The cycle of life must continue…
We too like flowers are here today… and gone tomorrow..
Every scenario in life presents an obstacle and an opportunity..
Which one shall i choose?
Life should be about making everything count..
Every tiny moment should be celebrated.. its unique.. it shall never come back!
In a thousand seeds only 3 may sprout into huge plants..
Life is about change…
Change is hard... painful..
Change also brings with it fulfillment and accomplishment..
From a seed comes forth an oak tree..
From a larvae comes forth a butterfly.
A friendship undefined becomes a balanced fulfilling one...
hurts in the past frame pillars of strength..
To be without becomes the womb that births ambition..
obstacles are opportunites waiting to be tapped!
Mushroom Cloud...
Trip! Felt the need for a holiday even if it’s for a day…
Could never have imagined meeting someone in just a day...
Or that I could connect and throw caution to the wind that day…
Perhaps I needed to lick some salt or gaze at some dikdiks...
Riding to the sanctuary we spoke, laughed and our eyes communicated...
My heart whispered to me, “I like his eyes, and smile” and my mind nodded in agreement.
If this is an adventure then let me be a damsel in distress and let you be the knight in shinning armour..
If this be a fairy tale let me be sleeping beauty and you the prince with the magical kiss! .
Someone who draws feelings of warm heartfelt closeness and camaraderie from me..
Someone who sits with me as I struggle with mathafu gently explains the formulas..
Someone who offers to cook dinner and quietly becomes a chef!
Someone I share Me with… the deepest parts, unafraid of ridicule or judgment..
Someone to sleep next to with a tiny smile of satisfaction…
Someone to share ideas on career, and this beautiful life!
My mushroom cloud.
Could never have imagined meeting someone in just a day...
Or that I could connect and throw caution to the wind that day…
Perhaps I needed to lick some salt or gaze at some dikdiks...
Riding to the sanctuary we spoke, laughed and our eyes communicated...
My heart whispered to me, “I like his eyes, and smile” and my mind nodded in agreement.
If this is an adventure then let me be a damsel in distress and let you be the knight in shinning armour..
If this be a fairy tale let me be sleeping beauty and you the prince with the magical kiss! .
Someone who draws feelings of warm heartfelt closeness and camaraderie from me..
Someone who sits with me as I struggle with mathafu gently explains the formulas..
Someone who offers to cook dinner and quietly becomes a chef!
Someone I share Me with… the deepest parts, unafraid of ridicule or judgment..
Someone to sleep next to with a tiny smile of satisfaction…
Someone to share ideas on career, and this beautiful life!
My mushroom cloud.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Determination..
Yesterday at church, my pastor preached about determination. One profound truth he stated was that Christians have replaced Knowledge with Prayer. We Christians imagine that all I have to do is pray for stuff eg. a job your chasing instead of equipping yourself to be the most suitable person for the job and then thanking God for the fulfillment of your prayer.
The dictionary meaning of determination is: Firmness of Purpose.
What is your purpose? Is it financial prosperity?
An excellent book am reading by George S Clason "The Richest Man in Babylon" gives great insights to financial prosperity.
*Some people are determined to take their children through school despite the loss of income of one partner.
*Others are determined to live longer than the 6 months decreed by their terminal illness
*others are determinated to get their first degree at age 40!
What are you determined to do?
1. Identify it/them.
2. come up with a SMART plan.
3. Pursue relentlessly!!!!
Helen Keller:
Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
Paulo Coelho:
But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for.
Stephen Covey:
Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power.
The dictionary meaning of determination is: Firmness of Purpose.
What is your purpose? Is it financial prosperity?
An excellent book am reading by George S Clason "The Richest Man in Babylon" gives great insights to financial prosperity.
*Some people are determined to take their children through school despite the loss of income of one partner.
*Others are determined to live longer than the 6 months decreed by their terminal illness
*others are determinated to get their first degree at age 40!
What are you determined to do?
1. Identify it/them.
2. come up with a SMART plan.
3. Pursue relentlessly!!!!
Helen Keller:
Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
Paulo Coelho:
But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for.
Stephen Covey:
Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Happiness is a State of Mind
I've Learned That Happiness is a State of Mind
Author Sue Henley
I just had my 25th wedding anniversary. What an accomplishment.
I've only contemplated divorce about 1 million times over the last 25 years, so you can imagine my surprise over reaching this milestone. I have been complaining about this man for about 9,125 days....give or take a few days. My life is not how I envisioned it. Every major fight we've ever had has been over money. How you fight about something you don't have is beyond me.
There was also the big fight over the candle light dinner I fixed.......it seems he wants to see what he eats! He has seldom paid me a compliment. He rarely buys me presents. He won't learn how to massage my back. He won't wear shorts or swim trunks. We have only been on one family vacation in 25 years. He has never disciplined our girls, thus leaving me as the repeated bad guy! He refuses to go grocery shopping and continues to sneak and smoke after a bilateral carotid endartectomy. AND he spends way too much time in his recliner!
This same man wouldn't miss a day of work unless he was half dead and he hands over his check every payday. He would drive day and night to pick up either of our girls if they needed him. He loves my mom and Granny almost as much as I do. If you called him and said, "I'm Sue's friend, we've never met and my car won't start".........he would be out of the door in a flash to help you out. What an incredible father he has been. I know he loves our girls as much as I do! He has never complained about how much I've spent on either child....no matter how out of budget I went. Since he knows how I hate to cook....he hasn't complained (much) about the 20,000 fast food meals we've consumed.
He almost drowned as a child....which is why he doesn't swim.......and maybe if we didn't make fun of his ultra white legs.....he'd wear shorts. He doesn't drink alcohol and is forbidden to use the words that are unacceptable to children's ears (and mine). He hates to leave our sleepy little town.....but, encourages me to go where I want to and he always seems happy to see me as I make it back up the driveway.
I cannot begin to tell you the number of conversations I've had with God about him. "Lord, I'm so UNhappy. Life is too short and I know you don't want me to be UNhappy!" He'd whisper....."Make yourself happy with him, Sue" "I can't live with him another minute, Lord. You're up there watching the whole vast universe and I don't think you see me down here, miserable!" "Oh, I see you. I'm here, always and forever. Speak to me." "I am speaking to you! I want to have some peace in my life, you know, Lord....but I don't want you mad at me! He's driving me crazy!" "And he's doing what?" "First of all....he's breathing my air!" "THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, SUE!"
I spent so many years praying for God to change him. God doesn't play fair sometimes. It seems that all along God was changing me. I had to come face to face with the fact that 'submissiveness' just isn't my best quality. (Not even close!) But, I spend a small part of each day working on it. I was so busy with my girls and my life that I didn't realize how little of myself I gave to him. I concentrated on the fact that we were polar opposites and he would never be able to fill that part of me that needed filled. I didn't realize I wasn't playing fair either because I hadn't reached into myself to give him the part of me that needed nurturing. The poor man was walking in the dark. He didn't have a clue. I think we both wondered if love was enough.
We were at a family reunion and someone asked where he was. I gleefully told them he was working overtime! Someone said, "Poor Leonard." It's become a family joke to say "Poor Leonard" because it grates on my last nerve! My own mother looked at me and said, "Do you notice no one ever says, "Poor Sue"? It felt like ice water had been dumped on my head. It was SO very true! That day my eyes started to open. So, at the ripe old age of 47, I've learned that happiness is a state of mind.
You can be hopelessly in love and decide you don't want to be happy. He still does things that drive me totally over the edge. But, I am receiving the nuturing that I have so long desired. I made up my mind that's he's not responsible for my happiness with him.....I am. I can hold grudges over what he's not done or done badly....or I embrace all the fine things he does so well.
So this morning, and hopefully every morning for the next 50 years, I choose to keep my family whole, to love with all my heart and please God and myself.
Sue Henley doupray2@charter.net
I hope it comes through that I love that man! I always have.....I just appreciate him more now! I think through my stories you've met all my family now! Tiffany will be 15 next month and Shanna is 23. I'm very blessed! 2001 copyright *********************************************************************
Author Sue Henley
I just had my 25th wedding anniversary. What an accomplishment.
I've only contemplated divorce about 1 million times over the last 25 years, so you can imagine my surprise over reaching this milestone. I have been complaining about this man for about 9,125 days....give or take a few days. My life is not how I envisioned it. Every major fight we've ever had has been over money. How you fight about something you don't have is beyond me.
There was also the big fight over the candle light dinner I fixed.......it seems he wants to see what he eats! He has seldom paid me a compliment. He rarely buys me presents. He won't learn how to massage my back. He won't wear shorts or swim trunks. We have only been on one family vacation in 25 years. He has never disciplined our girls, thus leaving me as the repeated bad guy! He refuses to go grocery shopping and continues to sneak and smoke after a bilateral carotid endartectomy. AND he spends way too much time in his recliner!
This same man wouldn't miss a day of work unless he was half dead and he hands over his check every payday. He would drive day and night to pick up either of our girls if they needed him. He loves my mom and Granny almost as much as I do. If you called him and said, "I'm Sue's friend, we've never met and my car won't start".........he would be out of the door in a flash to help you out. What an incredible father he has been. I know he loves our girls as much as I do! He has never complained about how much I've spent on either child....no matter how out of budget I went. Since he knows how I hate to cook....he hasn't complained (much) about the 20,000 fast food meals we've consumed.
He almost drowned as a child....which is why he doesn't swim.......and maybe if we didn't make fun of his ultra white legs.....he'd wear shorts. He doesn't drink alcohol and is forbidden to use the words that are unacceptable to children's ears (and mine). He hates to leave our sleepy little town.....but, encourages me to go where I want to and he always seems happy to see me as I make it back up the driveway.
I cannot begin to tell you the number of conversations I've had with God about him. "Lord, I'm so UNhappy. Life is too short and I know you don't want me to be UNhappy!" He'd whisper....."Make yourself happy with him, Sue" "I can't live with him another minute, Lord. You're up there watching the whole vast universe and I don't think you see me down here, miserable!" "Oh, I see you. I'm here, always and forever. Speak to me." "I am speaking to you! I want to have some peace in my life, you know, Lord....but I don't want you mad at me! He's driving me crazy!" "And he's doing what?" "First of all....he's breathing my air!" "THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, SUE!"
I spent so many years praying for God to change him. God doesn't play fair sometimes. It seems that all along God was changing me. I had to come face to face with the fact that 'submissiveness' just isn't my best quality. (Not even close!) But, I spend a small part of each day working on it. I was so busy with my girls and my life that I didn't realize how little of myself I gave to him. I concentrated on the fact that we were polar opposites and he would never be able to fill that part of me that needed filled. I didn't realize I wasn't playing fair either because I hadn't reached into myself to give him the part of me that needed nurturing. The poor man was walking in the dark. He didn't have a clue. I think we both wondered if love was enough.
We were at a family reunion and someone asked where he was. I gleefully told them he was working overtime! Someone said, "Poor Leonard." It's become a family joke to say "Poor Leonard" because it grates on my last nerve! My own mother looked at me and said, "Do you notice no one ever says, "Poor Sue"? It felt like ice water had been dumped on my head. It was SO very true! That day my eyes started to open. So, at the ripe old age of 47, I've learned that happiness is a state of mind.
You can be hopelessly in love and decide you don't want to be happy. He still does things that drive me totally over the edge. But, I am receiving the nuturing that I have so long desired. I made up my mind that's he's not responsible for my happiness with him.....I am. I can hold grudges over what he's not done or done badly....or I embrace all the fine things he does so well.
So this morning, and hopefully every morning for the next 50 years, I choose to keep my family whole, to love with all my heart and please God and myself.
Sue Henley doupray2@charter.net
I hope it comes through that I love that man! I always have.....I just appreciate him more now! I think through my stories you've met all my family now! Tiffany will be 15 next month and Shanna is 23. I'm very blessed! 2001 copyright *********************************************************************
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
How is your Heart?
Hi world, am back! am back to writing again...my fingers are typing so fast that I dunno what they shall "say" next! Crazy huh?
I started this year with apprehension.. giving up a love that so fulfilled me was the biggest battle i had to face. I gave him up in January.. ached for him for so long.. that i couldnt write..because, how do you write a mourn? a tear? a scream?! Time does heal wounds..
Yesterday my friend came online whilst i was on Yahoo and asked me this question... How is your heart? I dunno why but I stuttered for a while.. looking for words that would explain how my heart was and all i could come up with is fine.
I should have said..
My heart is grateful for dear life... my family and the small everyday miracles.
My heart yearns for a good John Grisham.. on a lazy Saturday..
My heart yearns for peace for those who lost their loved ones in the KQ crash..
My heart yearns for direction.. what in the world am i doing with my life???
My heart yearns for a better job... more challenging!
My heart yearns for my projects to open up...
My heart yearns for a deeper understanding/relationship with my maker...
My heart yearns for days when i would be a little gal again.
My heart yearns for slow days filled with trees, birds chirping...and lots of dark clouds!
I started this year with apprehension.. giving up a love that so fulfilled me was the biggest battle i had to face. I gave him up in January.. ached for him for so long.. that i couldnt write..because, how do you write a mourn? a tear? a scream?! Time does heal wounds..
Yesterday my friend came online whilst i was on Yahoo and asked me this question... How is your heart? I dunno why but I stuttered for a while.. looking for words that would explain how my heart was and all i could come up with is fine.
I should have said..
My heart is grateful for dear life... my family and the small everyday miracles.
My heart yearns for a good John Grisham.. on a lazy Saturday..
My heart yearns for peace for those who lost their loved ones in the KQ crash..
My heart yearns for direction.. what in the world am i doing with my life???
My heart yearns for a better job... more challenging!
My heart yearns for my projects to open up...
My heart yearns for a deeper understanding/relationship with my maker...
My heart yearns for days when i would be a little gal again.
My heart yearns for slow days filled with trees, birds chirping...and lots of dark clouds!
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